Because of Him

This evening I was touched by the thoughtfulness of Z. He and Nev were grouped in age together at a local Easter Egg Hunt (dash) and I was watching from a distance. As it started Nev had her basket on her head as a hat. I figured that was going to be a problem but had no way to do anything about it since we were blocked by a bunch of other parents.

I watched as they started the hunt and she ran about 3 steps and then panicked: where was her basket? She couldn't possibly pick up eggs without the basket. Her brother was long gone, of course with task in mind. She turned back searching for me, the expression on her face heartbreaking the parental crowd thinned enough and I went to her, I pulled the basket off her head and handed it to her and told her she was okay (she was crying), and to go see if she could find an egg. I watched as she picked up one and then it was evident that all the eggs had been claimed. Her brother found her as he was charged to do and then from a distance I saw a huddle around her. When they emerged from the group everyone was happy.

They described to me what had transpired when they found me. Now looking through the pictures I am touched even more to see what I couldn't at the distance I was.

Without any adult interference just the sorrow of his sister he took it upon himself to make all things even.

In the pictures I can see her meet up with her brother, shoulders slumped in defeat.

I can see Z's appeal to the other hunters on her behalf. You can see in their faces what kind of a response they received.

He later told me he gave her half his eggs and then asked other kids around him if they would share just one with her.

It's a simple thing. A Christlike thing. A small act that makes me such a happy mom. Because of Him, Because of Jesus Christ my children know how to see a need and fill it, see a broken heart and mend it. They learn to serve as Our Savior served. Z ended up with less eggs than his sister.

Afterwards they had a raffle for a few gift baskets. In a tender mercy Nev's number won the raffle.

Which means that Z was even more unbalanced with the one he worried over, but it was all okay. 

As a parent, standing back and watching my children take care of each other is one of the most rewarding things. Their innocence, and charity is inspiring. 

May the beauty and awesomeness of Our Savior's gift and sacrifice be evidenced in types all around you. 

Happy Easter!

#becauseofHim 

Because of Him I'm a better Mom, Because of Him my children are better people, Because of Him I learn to love more perfectly. 

Everyone has just enough of a cold to make me exhausted, since I'm feeling it too. So we kept the kids out of school today. I am writing because I need to note today's successes.
4 loads of laundry folded and put away.
practiced sight words with the kindergartener
taught the 9 year old (again) the correct way to form her b and d's, next up f
9 year old finished a book
2 year old and 5 year old took a nap
4 year old helped fold laundry
I made pancakes for second breakfast (what's that? when the kids get up at 7 with Dad and eat cereal only to be sent back to bed because they are all coughing, and when I get up at 9 after being up all night with the two year old, I make pancakes for everyone)
renewed the library books
practiced writing "e" (with the four year old who writes them as backward g's) and other letters in her name
identified the letters the 5 year old didn't know
read books with the two year old
read tandem with 5 year old
practiced shape identification with 4 year old
said yes (this is a big one folks, it just is)
helped the 9 year old finally put together the butterfly garden she got in June for her birthday
9 year old practiced piano
I made arrangements for supplemental help at tonight's youth activity
No TV has been watched (1 movie by the 5 year old before everyone else woke up)

Grouchy Lady Bugs

Today Nev brought home an Eric Carslile book from school. We read it together and she wanted to make a ladybug like Giddy and I did yesterday. ( we made a bee and a lady bug)

So we went at it from the angle on the front of the book. Ripping paper for grass, punching circles out, cutting heads bodies and undersides, and pipe cleaner and black cord for legs and antennae, respectively. I love how they turned out and it was fun to watch them work. At one point Giddy left and started walking off with the paint water, I had just refilled it and figured he thought he needed water since it was clean he couldn't see it? Er something. He kept saying something but as I had no context I couldn't understand until he showed me. 

A frog. 

Whaaat? How did that get in the house? I mean there are a TON of them outside but I'm always surprised at where we find them in the house. Come to find out when he was walking off with the paint water he was saying "wog" aka "frog."  Nev caught it after it jumped out of the paint cup. We took it outside, they each got to hold it before letting it go "home."

And back to our lady bugs. Nev made hers the sweet lady bug and Giddy said his was the grouchy one. 

They turned out so cute and the kids stayed on task well. Nev ended up drawing "names" in white on her lady bug 's back after I took the pic of her with hers. The white lines "are its bones-es" and he needed 8 legs because that's the way she drew it in white pencil. Duh Mom. :) Nev is pretty awesome with scissors now as she's had a lot of practice the last few months. 

She also presented me with another drawing and asked me if I could color it for her like I did her other one. See link for the other one. 

 http://corettadeesign.blogspot.com/2013/09/a-little-fairy-magic.html?m=1

I'm looking forward to it. 

Things I thought of while my child screamed all through check out...

To the two grandma age women who really should have been encouraging: First off I had the shopping isle right of way, so don't glare at me when you almost run into my cart with the child hanging off the front of it. I am doing the best I can, you of all people should appreciate that, or has it been too long since you cared for a little being? Or perhaps you are still bitter life dealt you a card you didn't like. If so, I am sorry on both accounts. Smile, your life will increase in sunshine, especially if you are the ones to smile first. 

To the grandpa age man who offered me a spot in front of him in line, just to get the check out over with faster: Thank you. It's too bad, (for everyone) that I couldn't take you up on your offer since the line I was in was really going to be faster. Your thoughtfulness is recorded in heaven and my heart.

To the young couple with the three month old boy: It's not always like this. Sometimes it is better, sometimes it is worse. That's okay, because when I get home and put the little boy who cried himself to sleep in his bed for a nap, I will look on his angel face and wonder what I did to deserve charge of such a cherished child of God. Seriously. It's amazing how quickly a sentiment can change when they are sleeping. Though it might sound crazy, I'd take that shopping trip again.

Here's why:

*The old man who smiled at me and the children in the prescription line, because yes, they are cute, and yes, I am a good Mom, thank you for noticing.

*Because that two year old was so excited to pick and count tomatoes and apples with me and I know that these moments matter when he's looking at me wondering where to go from #4 before he drops the imperfect tomato he could reach into the bag.

*And when we stop to pick out underwear with the 4 year old who will look at all the options but still know exactly what she wants (Hello Kitty) because she is confident and her very own unique personality, I can be happy because I was a big part of that.

*And it's because when the two of them are picking out juice they think about what flavors their siblings will like. It's because I am working to raise individuals who care about others who can reach outside of their own sense of entitlement that is so rampant today.

*It's the little girl who could tell Mommy was worn out but really wanted the princess squinkie on the horse. She knew she could use her hard earned allowance to buy it, and also knew she'd not been the cause of Mommy's stress and so she gave me her best puppy-dog-eyes and-fist-clasped-pleading and then accepted it when Mom said, "no," (I later changed my mind because I was able to translate what "my lowance" meant).

So if I seem distant or unconcerned, cold or uncaring while my two year old cried the entire 30 minute checkout... (Note to self: never shop on a Tuesday again), it's because I care SO much, I'm not giving up. I'm fighting this battle against everyone who tells me mothering is a waste of time, against every Time Magazine Article that says a life with out children is "having it all," against every cocktail carrying woman who looks down at my newborn in the stroller and says "Why would you have a baby?" against, everyone who says, "you are too young to have kids," or "# that's enough," or "you have your hands full" or that "children ruin your body" etc. I'm fighting against the women who say I am throwing away my college education by choosing to be a stay at home mom. I'm fighting against everyone who says family doesn't matter, or that it can be modified to mean something other than what God intended.

I'm fighting for the four little people who are growing and changing faster than I could have ever imagined. I'm fighting for their lives, their happiness, their essence and their destiny. I'm fighting for my family. I'm fighting for all the young women out there who understand how important it is to be a mother, or who are even interested in trying to understand. I'm fighting for the future.

Stretching

Little toes 

push into my knees

His body is long

It unraveled overnight,

It seems.

His softness fades slowly

As I cherish the moment 

His even breath 

And arms around my neck

His persistence has worn me down 

But I can still smile 

as I listen to him sleep

Finally.

It sounds the same 

as when he nuzzled at my breast 

Years ago now.

Tomorrow he will be longer still 

his cherub flesh stretching

Into boy.

A Bear and his Boy

 

 

 

 When Giddy was diagnosed with Wilms Kidney Cancer we were relocated to a small room lined with shelves on one wall, a desk and chair at the end of the thin room and two chairs on either side of a small round end table with a fake plant on it. We sat in the chairs and had time to unthinkingly look at the offering of comfort items a child would be given on diagnosis. When the doctor handed our all boy one year old a sagging stuffed teddy bear, it was not what either of us would have chosen for him, as cute as it was. It sat in the hospital crib with him that time while we did tests and waited for Surgery and healed from surgery, mostly undisturbed.

 I'm not really sure when it happened but at some point he began cuddling with it at night. 

Giddy had pretty good communication and speech by the fall of 2012 (to the point where I understood him better than his sister who was 2 years older, and we put her in speech) so one Sunday afternoon after a nap he and I were cuddling in my bed and chatting the way you do with an 18month old. I introduced him to Surgery Monkey and asked him what his bear was named. To this point we were just calling him Bear. I asked him a few times when he started saying "Dap" every time I asked and I'd repeat it back to him and he'd agree, "ya, ya, Dap." So Dap was named.
 
About six months later it occurred to me he probably was saying "stop" instead of naming his bear, all the same it stuck. At bed time or nap time he'd wander the house singing Da-ap while looking for him. Or we'd forget and put him to bed without Dap and he'd ask "Where's Dap?"

Recently he has been calling him Dappy. He will croon "Dappy" and snuggle him when he finds him. Sometimes he will find acceptable substitutes, if it is brown and looks like a bear he will cuddle it (when Dap isn't around) they are usually small Beany Babies. Dap goes lots of places with us though, he's even been on a plane and the oldest City in the United States.

Dap is loved at nap time and bed time and often any time in between.

He goes on Renal Doctor visits, and regular ones.

One Sunday he brought him to church and took him to nursery with him. We were all loaded in the van and had driven halfway home at the end of services when I hear Giddy say, "Where's Dappy, at church?"

"We don't have Dap?!" I ask.

He puts his hands up. "Dap at church."

So we turned the van around to get Dappy.Thankfully they didn't lock the toy cupboards like they normally do and we were able to get Dap who had been packed away with all the other toys. That would have been a looooong Dap-less week. 

We have been grateful for Dap and the comfort he brings to this little boy. He is part of a charity that supplies a new stuffed animal to children in emergency situations called Allie's Friends Foundation. Dap is part of the family now. :)

The Red Wagon

We got a red wagon in anticipation of taking the kids to Disney World for the first time.
If you are thinking the same.... don't. Buy it for another reason. About any other reason.


I'll tell you why. The van with 6 people in it can only hold so much. That wagon took up the trunk pretty effectively.

Imagine arriving at the park with 4 excited kids, 8, 5, 3, 2 who had never been, whose minds might literally e  x  p  l  o  d  e in the anticipation and getting that red wagon all loaded up with snacks, rain coats, lunch, sippy cups etc. Hauling the kids up to the Tram in the wagon and being told you can't take your pretty red wagon.

So we'd have to go back to the van, figure out how to carry all our stuff... and thinking ahead to tired feet and tired legs and tired bodies who would want to be carried, who wouldn't want to carry their own coats by wearing them and who would have no care for how much Mom and Dad were carrying already or how badly the bum-wheeled shopping cart messed up Mom's back the day before. All while the kids are asking WHY? and When can we go? and a myriad of other questions; so it makes it nearly impossible for Mom and Dad to think of solutions.

And imagine, because it would totally happen that the 2 year old would start wandering off in between cars and make a game of hiding... and inevitably someone (Dad) would raise his voice and some "concerned citizen" would call DCFS because Mom was hauling a screaming child away from a car door that he was desperately clinging too.

Then imagine that someone (Dad) threatens the kids that if they don't stop asking questions we are going to load back up in the van and go home. Of course they wouldn't stop asking questions and since Mom and Dad still don't have a solution and now are worn out already and are trying to stick to their resolve on following through on "threats".... They load the screamer, the crier and the angry and disbelieving kids in the van and try to then decide if they really go home or if they go buy ANOTHER stroller....

Hope you got a pretty good picture there. I sure did.

Thankfully, I did just imagine all this because Disney World does not allow wagons.

We discovered this the night before we left. Like 11pm.

What a blessing.

Staying up late deciding which to take (Stroller or pram) made for a much better day than if we had showed up at the gates with our shiny, new, red wagon, personalized and everything.

We ended up taking the pram and then for spring break the next week did buy a double/ sit and stand stroller. If Giddy could share the pram would have been great, but he's a super jealous youngest child and it wasn't happening.

The Red Wagon (Part 2)

So here we have this nonreturnable personalized wagon. Which, let's be honest, I've always wanted for my kids. So we let them play with it in the yard, and we go on walks with it.

Sunday evening we went on a walk with it after General Conference.

We turned down a street we never have before. Neither of us brought any electronic devices, and finding ourselves in a dead end had to turn around. By this time the kids were tired and had switched in and out of the wagon walking or riding and Giddy was getting all jealous of Mom holding hands with Dad so the middle two were in the wagon. Olea trailed with us.

I watched the middle two and listened to their laughter as they leaned over the side of the wagon trailing sticks in the white shell-sand road. I soaked in the feeling of Giddy clutching tightly around my neck as I held him on my chest. I wanted a picture, but didn't have one so took a snapshot with my heart.

Life at it's best.


The Red Wagon

Daddy pulls the red wagon 
In a winding path
Creating soft ruts in the fragmented shells
Their two heads jostle 
each on a soft arm resting over the side
Their other arms drag a stick pressed into the ground
Like sparklers in the sandy road
leaving snakelike wiggles behind them for the length of our travel
Giggles at the simple joy peak and die
as they watch the sand spray
and listen to it grind and fall
In harmony with the wagon wheels
She wanders behind
skipping back and forth in the lines
as Daddy pulls the red wagon.


Hold
 
His arms clutch 
warm and squishy 
solid in his resolve 
to hang on
to Mommy
I wrap my arms
snug against him 
creating a seat
hanging on to my hips to anchor it
as I walk with him
carried against me
his sweet curls catch
in my eyes 
his kisses saturate my cheek 
his little hands pat my back
renew and tighten his grip 

Giddy Grows and grows

For the past two years I have taken a picture of my baby boy on the same (or close to the same) day each month. When the alarm when off mid day I did my best to put him in the chair covered by the blanket my best friend made him and took a picture. Some times he was playing with a toy, sometimes he was grumpy, messy faced, covered in bug bites, usually his hair was messed up and his hands were dirty. He was often uncooperative but somehow I managed a picture every month. I even went through a period where I considered changing out the backdrop due to sad life events but I am glad I decided not to.

I could have made it a lot of stress or cost by getting him all handsome and taking him somewhere to get his picture taken or even setting up the perfect lighting at home etc, but I function on "get it done" and I am so glad I didn't let things get in the way of taking a simple picture each month.

I have compiled some of the shots as they are and a version of his sweet face close up, which is fun to look at in order and see the change.

 

I should have done it with all my kids. I think I was too stressed about making them look perfect for a picture that I let that excuse get in the way. Shame on me.

24  months. Holy wow. 2 years of my life with this boy. This amazing spirited miracle. I could write a big ode to him, but you still wouldn't get how special he is, how witty and coy, how full of expression and how smart. And that's okay. Someday some special girl will be his lucky wife and she'll know all about it.

One day after we passed the 1 year mark Gary asked me how long are you going to do that? (speaking of taking a monthly picture).
I don't know. Maybe till that day when he moves out... :)

Gary and Giddy's birthday's are a day apart so we celebrated them the same day with their own personalized cake. No one else appreciates carrot cake so Gary got his little square and Giddy got a lego cake. Nothing too fancy but full of love.

More Hair

Olea desired a hair cut after I got mine cut so we had the lovely Hillary come back and Olea made a Locks of Love donation and got a shorter do.

 Zurich was finally convinced to have a hair cut too, and at his request we did it really short so we wouldn't have to cut it again for a while. I let him go at it with the clippers a bit, he was super ginger. And no, that little wavy haired baby boy will not be getting a hair cut anytime soon. :)

a bedroom for boys

This is a continuation from this post.

We finally gave up on the wallpaper that was on never ending back order and bought it somewhere else. Let me say:
1. I have perfect color vision (see here) 
2. I couldn't have chosen the comic book grey any better if I had had the wallpaper we wanted with me when we bought the paint months before.
3. The decals stuck really well. No issues.
4. they need to work on the adhesive for adhesive wallpaper... probably why it was on never ending back order... it has some issues sticking for which we purchase Aleene's Tack it over and over and that seems to be doing the trick.
5. Yes, I fixed the clock face numbers.
6. Lucky boys.

Merry Christmas!

Sleigh ride Florida style

Gary asked me the other night if I missed the snow.
Nope.
But there are some things that are classic Christmas, that just aren't possible the same way in a tropical climate. So we are changing up traditions and trying new things and loving it.

We already went to St. Augustine and rode the Holly Jolly Trolly so what do do Christmas Eve?

 Go to the swamp and hitch an air boat ride. Obviously. ;) Actually, we have some friends who got a gift certificate for an air boat ride for six people. They gifted it to us because they weren't going to use it and knew we would. None of us have ever been on an air boat so we were all pretty excited. It was a cooler day so we bundled up a bit since we'd be against the wind. I was glad to have a use for the hats I knitted the kids. :) Awe look at that ping, ping, ping, ping, ping.

 Olea got to ride the high seat first. Giddy was happy to chill for most of it.

 

 

 Nev was singing into the wind.

 Cranes looking for a place to build a nest.

 The clan of us (driver took the picture)

Zurich wanted to go fast and got his wish. He's watching the dials.

 Pretty Lake Woodruff

 Giddy-Phone before he rejected the earphones.

 Nev was so pleased when she got her turn to sit on the high seat. She sang the whole time and the driver got a kick out of it. He was totally cool with the kids, I always worry because people here just aren't that used to kids, especially four of them at once. He was very accommodating and we had a blast. Gary really is interested in doing a gator hunt or bow fishing via air boat.

 

 

 

 We saw quite a few Gator especially for it being an overcast day but this lil guy was the only one I got a picture of.

As we headed home I said to Gary, "That was a nice sleigh ride; Florida style."