Friday, June 3, 2011

Without notice

Last night we bought Zurich new shoes. None of his hand me downs fit him any more. Tonight as he rolled his body witheringly against the side of his bed whining, "I just don't know how to sleep." I saw him and realized he's so big all of a sudden. I had figured a few weeks back that he was having a growth spurt because he was eating so much and hungry all the time. But still tonight, I was shocked by it's visual manifestation. My mom asked today if I felt like he was growing up with out my noticing it. She said she sorta felt that way about her first boy. I told her that she had shared that thought with me shortly before I had Nev as a precautionary tale.

It's a sad thought to me.

I have tried to keep up with the kids journals and be aware and appreciative of the experiences they have and bring to me. But life is so much clutter sometimes. I guess I feel like all my kids have grown up without me noticing. Just because I turn around and notice something like tonight, that he is taller, older, just like that.

My Olea turns 7 here in a short while. I'm getting old (relatively speaking) I know I am still a spring chick, but thirty used to be "adult" to me, old. And this year I turn 29. I am so grateful for the experiences I have had these years since getting married (because that's when I started to grow older) but it is still shocking to realize that so much time has passed so quickly.

And as I look at my "little" boy who is in so many ways a "big" boy, curled up asleep with his blanket snuggled underneath him on his floor because he "Just [didn't] know how to sleep," well, I get a little emotional.
I just don't know how to sleep

1 comment:

  1. That is cute. We are all growing a little everyday. I think it is the reflection part that makes us think the actual growth (physical, spiritual, or emotional) is "all the sudden."