Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Welcome to the Monkey House

Today, Gary called home around what I suppose was lunch time...
After I said the expected, "Hello." He asked, "Is this the monkey house?"
I only had time to reply yes, while pulling Zurich out of the tub, (I had just got him out and diapered and he'd crawled back in before I'd gone back to drain it).
So there he was with a fresh, newly saturated diaper... I plopped him on the rug which he used as a launch pad to run wild and free and slipped on the bathroom floor (due to wet feet, and source of wetness coming from his (new) diaper...
landed hard smacked his head and as far as I could determine from my view point hit his head on one of those door stop wedges. "Call you back!" and dropped the phone.

Turns out Zurich only knocked his head on the floor he was fine in about 3 seconds.
The kid is tough.

So the mayhem continues in the way it does for the next few hours... to come to what I can only hope is the climax.

So at about 5pm... I am nursing the baby. All is calm and quiet. Zurich is pushing a stroller around and Olea is watching qubo, I am sitting next to her, shielding the baby's head from Zurich's intermittent bonks from his ginormous cranium.

Genève rips one... I consider changing her diaper but veto it since she is still nursing and figure she will only add to it if I change her. I am right.

Then there is a knock on the door. I stand up and look for a blanket to drape over self and nursing baby to get the door... only to find that poop is squirting over the top of the little one's diaper, (she is wearing a shirt... not a onesie) down my leg and onto the carpet. I am at a loss... get the door?
too much poop,
poop on my hand, my pants, the carpet, the baby's pants...
Olea is freaking out because there is poop on the carpet... and "Mom, we gotta get the door, someone is here!" over and over.
I decide the door will have to wait... I have Olea remove the changing pad cover... easier to wipe the poop off the plastic pad than it is to wash it out of the pad. Set the baby down trying not to spread the poop any farther. Wash hands. Clean up baby, strap new poop catcher to her bum. (can you tell I am a fan of Mike Rowe?) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-onTeIfenqg (mike rowe daycare)

Get stain fighter options from laundry room and get to work on clothing.
Go put them in the washer and start a load come back to bathroom to get something to clean the poop off the carpet...
only to find Zub in the tub, fully clothed (third time today, water drained by now) lathering up his head with baby shampoo.

There had to be at least 5 handfuls of it on his head by this time.
I have to laugh though and since the camera is handy I take a picture and then I haul him out and stick his head under the faucet and start rinsing his head off.
He does not like this and we both get pretty wet in the process.
During it all Olea is downstairs yelling at me repeatedly because someone stuck something in the door and the phone is ringing.
I get to work cleaning up the carpet.
Zurich is leaning and pushing against me whining, he wants me to hold him, or change his wet shirt or suck on the old toothbrush I am using to clean the poop off the carpet.

all this equals 20 minutes in the Monkey House.

And I have to laugh... because if I don't I'll go crazy.


  1. Thanks for sharing the mayhem! I'll have to add this one to the multiple poop stories I've heard this week. And people ask what does a stay-at-home mom DO all day????? :-)

  2. it's true. Because when we break down the mayhem... what really happened? I washed poop out of the carpet.