Mean

Ok, this blog is going to sound mean. I don't like other people's kids. That's a general rule I am finding out. I don't mean to dislike them. It just happens. Today Olea invited in some new neighbors. All four of their kids ranging from 8-2. Too many kids. Too noisy, too active. It drove me crazy. I couldn't understand even the older ones, they all talked like babies, and didn't take me seriously when I asked them not to do something (such as play in my room, I had even shut the door). I don't get it. Am I expecting too much? I don't think so. Some parents take no responsibility for teaching their kids correct manners or common decency. They just live on the "Kids will be kids" motto. Sure, but they can also be decent human beings if we take the time to teach them correct principles.

I know my children aren't perfect, but I sure do try. I know it's a constant work, I do it every day. So I make allowances for other people's kids. It's not like my kids haven't thrown a disastrous fit while shopping, or a tantrum about leaving a friend's house. But I like to think that I do my part to quell such behavior. I don't spoil my kids, I don't let them run rampant. I guess I am pretty strict by standards these days. I want my kids to be liked, but more importantly to be functional adults, I believe this starts very young.

There are some kids I like that don't belong to me, some I even don't mind all 2 or 5 of them in my house at once, maybe it's because I like their parents. Maybe they are just better behaved, maybe it is because I can understand what they are saying. Maybe because they are good with the rule whatever you get out-you clean up. I'm mean, I know, but I have enough to do and I don't think it is fair that my daughter should suffer (cleaning the horrendous mess by herself) if we have friends over. I'm not obsessively clean. I can't be, I'm an artist, but there are some things that I expect, like a walkway. My daughter doesn't have a profusion of toys for this very reason: I want her to be able to manage her room, be able to clean up the messes she makes without being overwhelmed. (Not because I don't love her, contrary to some parent's belief on toys).

Do I sound ornery? Maybe I am. When the younger one I sent home for a diaper change comes back and walks in my house all by herself without knocking or anything, 20 mins after I sent all of them home. She just shows up in my daughter's room ready to play and starts bawling when I tell her it is time to go home. Where is the mom in this situation? Does she think this is okay, or is she simply not watching her kids, or did this one sneak away? I had to get my baby fed, and he is too easily distracted by new things, people, or noise to eat with such commotion, and then down for a nap. When I say it is time to go home, you better leave if you don't want your pigtails lopped off. I don't run a day care for this very reason. I chose to have kids, and I love mine dearly and I understand that having kids means dealing with other people's kids. But there are some things I won't tolerate. We had a neighbor a while back whose kid always talked back to us and told my daughter she didn't have to do what we said. It got to the point that I would close the blinds when he was outside so that my daughter wouldn't ask to go play with him. She went from being an agreeable child to talking back after playing with him. I won't have it. I can't tell you how elated I was when they moved away. Mean, I know.

My daughter is very social and wants friends over to play a lot. It always seems like there is too much going on for me to handle this too often. I'm no super mom. I think I am a good mom to my kids, but I don't like parenting other kids. Is this why I was a nursery leader, and now a sunbeam teacher? Is is because I need to learn to love other people's kids? Oh I can, I think I have proved that in these two capacities. I have felt success in being really annoyed with a kid in the beginning and then in time learning to love them, over and over. I have dealt with a LOT of kids and all at once too. And probably some of them think I am super mean, but I know a lot of them love me too. To the point where when I go visit our old ward those kids all come to give me hugs. I know kids love unconditionally, but I think they also feel loved when we set boundaries and rules to live by for them; when we take the time to teach and nurture them. When we are "mean."