Thursday, July 24, 2008

unsolicited advice

It has been brought to my attention through google analytics and a comment by, I am sure, a well meaning individual; that this post was coming up when people searched for specific key words. I do not feel the need to delete this post, nor to act like it didn't happen, but to not seem like a Mormon basher... since I am a member of the LDS church I am using that post to redirect traffic and re-posting my experience here. I was very frustrated and for this purpose I will leave up the post with minor edits. This is not a negative post about the cannery specifically it is a post about unsolicited advice. If you feel like a person should never say a negative thing about anything in any way related to something the church has produced in it's temporal need, you don't need to read it. No one is forcing you. Nor do I believe, or think that you should believe, that my single experience represents the experience of many or is even a good indication of what a trip to this location would consist of. This post was a rant. I am allowed to do that. It was a single experience to exemplify many of which I experience as a young mother with young children in a society that supposedly supports the idea of families.
For the record: I feel completely justified in sharing my thought response to the unsolicited advice I received. If one is annoyed by it perhaps they should consider one's own comments before providing a stranger with unsolicited advice. (that's my unsolicited advice)

The original post follows.

The other day I had a large trip planned, as I must do these days living out as far as we do and with the gas prices... Our first destination was 45 mins away. We left at 9 am. When I was finally on my loop back home at around 3:45 I was exhausted the kids were too. It was a long hot day even with AC in the van. Our last stop was the L C. I am going to rant a little here... just a warning. I understand that the cannery is not the safest place on the planet for kids. I instructed my 4 year old to stay close enough to touch me and be very obedient. She was a perfect child. The baby I have no complaints about either.... So what would I have to rant about? I only needed a few #10 cans to finish up some canning. I have never been to the cannery before to do such a thing and I was given instructions generally on how to go about it. Lets just mention that I had to get directions 3 times because I came from south rather than north and the second instructions told me to turn left when I needed to go right... I am not directionally stupid and can usually find my way around better than most women... but it didn't work out so great this time. However when I got there I was at a loss. The kiosk seemed backwards to me. It seemed like a group was there ordering and I didn't want to interfere... Eventually I figured out where the "front" was and asked how to go about getting my few cans. After a nice older man filled my order for me (since I had the kids and he didn't want them in the fork lift area and I think he was just generally helpful) I went to pay. After writing out my check the lady in the kiosk said, "Tuesday afternoons are fine, mornings are busy. Maybe next time you could leave your kids at home."

This is what I call unsolicited advice.

I didn't say anything because I was so shocked. But in my head... leave them home?
leave them home? They aren't "leave home" age, can't you see that? leave them home with who? I'm not going to make a separate trip just for 3 cans! Nor am I going to get a baby sitter so I can make such a pleasant trip to the cannery. Do you have kids? Do you remember what it was like with kids. Apparently not. Am I not doing what I am supposed to? Having kids (multiplying and replenishing the earth), Food storage, gimme a break! They were good, they didn't bother anyone at all or get in the way.... Why did she think that was such a great idea to say that? Seriously. Thanks for that, what a great solution, maybe I'll just leave my kids home all the time, that would really make my trips to town easier wouldn't it? Sure, no getting kids in and out of car seats for 5 mins so I can run in a place for thirty seconds. That would be great. Oh wait, except I can't leave my kids home. They are mine, and strangely enough a 4 year old isn't old enough to leave at home for 3 hours with a 6 month old while I "run" to the Cannery.

Maybe next time you could leave your opinion at home..."

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